The Dream

“.. I saw your father today in morning.”

“This time what was he doing? Oh no, wait! Let me rephrase it. This time what were you thinking before sleep?”

“Nothing, I just had my toast with tea in morning. I was feeling a bit tired.  I didn’t have this lunch making task on head because you all were fasting. I thought I should get some more rest. So I lay down beside your sister and didn’t realize when my mind drifted to sleep.”

“aaah… I see. So you’re tired mind have made you date your dead partner again. Wow. I admire this power of subconscious that you possess. I wish I could meet my most beloved ones daily with this power but I lack the super brain like you.”

“Sometimes you talk such nonsense. I can’t make sense of a single word that you speak up. You should practice remaining quiet, Larki… Now let me finish…”
“I had this dream and I also learned a lesson. So now LISTEN because I want to share this lesson with you.”

“Okay, Okay…”

“I was coming home all alone by walk. All of a sudden I heard your father from behind asking where am I going? For a moment I was captivated. I felt so alive even in the dream that my immediate thought was, OMG, how come he’s alive… I presume, he is resting in eternal peace since past 2.5 years. My state of captivation and whammy was broke up by the next thing which your father said to me. He really praised me for my bold stand. He said that he’s really proud of how I’ve managed to give his children, the quality of life including better education in good academic institutions. He said that I’ve fulfilled my responsibility beyond expectations and that he’s content now. He asked me again, where am I going? I said I’m going home.  His response was that yes we should go home finally. Let’s go together.
I was coming home with him and I paused when my cousin’s home came in the way. I asked your father that I needed to take my jewelry from my cousin. I had given him in time of need and now I should get it back. Your father was okay with it. He said that he’ll be waiting downstairs. My cousin apologetically, told me that he had lost all the jewelry and that he’s sorry about it. He couldn’t manage to give the money to me which was equivalent to my jewelry. I almost felt like my chest is tightening up with such immense pain. The pain that you get when you lost the money that you’ve earned with a lot of hard work, and calories burned and several nights sleeping empty stomach. The pain was of that much intensity that it made me woke up from my dream…”

“This is it?”

“Yeah.”

“I must say mother dreams at times can be so realistic. I wish I could experience more of it. In a way, it becomes really very difficult for us to distinguish between reality and the distorted version of it.”
“You know if I started having such realistic dreams on a regular basis, I would never spend more time-fighting reality while being awake. You’ll find me sleeping all day long…”

“Oh please! Don’t start again your nonsense crap!”
“Wese bhi, You sleep all day long in your vacations.”
“Let me tell you the lesson.”

“Yeah, I’m all ears.”

“You know you should never ever trust anyone in this world. Even if s/he is your closest cousin or relative. People always find their own privilege. I’ve learned all my life and through this dream, and I want you to understand this, no one really takes care of you until they have got a purpose behind it. The world is greedy and they’ll always think about their own priorities first.”

“But it’s all natural maa. When it comes to you, obviously you’ll think about your children and your household first before anything else.”

“Yeah, true that! But at least I’ve never thought of harming someone else’s possession for my own children. I want you, my dear, to digest this fact that you need to stand alone and to take care of your own self.”

“..And what about love mama?”

“Love do exist. But you see it’s not a common jewel that you can find on every shop in everyone’s heart. The purest essential love is a rare diamond that only a few people have the privilege to behold the beauty of it, and to live under the most unadulterated essence.”

“Have you thought about this mother…?”

“Thought about what?”

“You know I’m thinking the other way round.”
“When you were narrating your dream to me, my attention was not seized by the jewelry that you lost, but the home that father was referring to you while returning.”
“You didn’t ask Pappa, which home you both were returning to, on your way back…”
“You see, we shouldn’t forget this fact that this flat is not our permanent home.”

“Stop it, girl! Now you’re scaring me.”

“Oh no! No, not at all! I’m not scaring you. But be brave and bold enough to think this way. I had a different interpretation of your dream.”

“Okay. Go on. Shoot. Tell me what do you have in mind?”

“I was thinking that maybe, Pappa is really happy to see all your efforts and it’s finally the time that you both go and settle together permanently in your afterlife, so he was there to take you to the entirely new realm, the transcendental one. And you were happily going with him. But there was this one worldly matter that pulled you back into this physical realm. The world full of worry and chaotic matters.”

“Dimag Karab hngaya hai is larki ka, you have lost your mind completely!”

“Arey! C’mon, don’t be scared. Wese bhi, the end of this dream evidently puts it that it’s not your time yet. So chill. That was just an interpretation.”

And the conversation goes on… 

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Sometimes I do reflect that it’s not necessary whatever I think/assume should be correct. We really can’t fix every answer into a black and white boundary. There’s a spectrum of colors between black and white. We cannot decide which exact shade on the spectrum is correct and the rest is wrong. But we can at least choose which one is the most suitable for my circumstance. There’s a lot of subjectivity here. Because every color on the spectrum demands to be felt. Every color has its own substantial place in our lives. We are not required to close our eyes on every shade. Rather we should open our thoughts to every color, every interpretation, and every opinion just to put enough cognitive loads on our exercising mind to keep it fit and healthy. 

Sheliza Hyder